Taking Your First Steps And Discovering The World Of Kink

BDSM stands for bondage, discipline/domination, sadism, and masochism. It’s a form of sexual play intriguing more and more people from all walks of life. In BDSM, the players take on pre-agreed upon roles in various sexual adventures and scenarios that involve such things as spanking, being tied up for pleasure, and either following or giving instructions to be followed.

Usually, in BDSM practices, there is a dom, or several doms, who have an agreeable amount of control over a sub, or a group of subs. Dom stands for dominant and is the one who gives demands. A sub, on the other hand, is submissive and does what the Dom tells them to do, unless they consciously want to be ornery. A sub can also be called a brat when they misbehave on purpose, in order to get extra spankings, or another form of fun and intense ‘punishment’.

Basically, BDSM is for people, and partners, who are searching for just a little extra oomph in the bedroom. BDSM can be anywhere between light spanking and heavier whipping, simple handcuffs attached to the bed or an entire multi-functional table dedicated to BDSM acclivities. No matter what your proclivities, there are certain rules that people need to agree on before the play begins.

Some Standard Rules Of BDSM

BDSM can seem a little scary at first to people who are newer to the practice. First remember that either females or males can be doms or subs. In fact, play whatever role you want. This is about you. There are many places online where you can print, or create, a contract that addresses what you are and are not okay with doing. For example, there are many people who enjoy being tied up and tortured with pleasure, but do not want to be spanked in any way. No problem, just put it in the contract. Here are a few simple rules:

Agree on a safe word and make sure that your partner agrees, wholeheartedly, to uphold your wishes.
Create and agree on a contract, signed by all people involved.
Verbally address your fantasies and discuss what’s so exciting about them; create your own story.
Choose a partner(s) that you can trust, infinitely.
Find a place, and a scenario, where you can feel safe.

Whether you are a fan of Christian Gray or are new to the entire idea, the setting is key to creating the right mood.

Where Can I Find A Fantasy Setting?

The setting you choose should reflect your fantasy. Perhaps you are interested in the dungeon setting, or maybe you have an Indiana Jones fantasy. Whatever floats your boat, you can surely find a place to play privately. While most of us don’t have the funds to build our own dungeons or the space to have playrooms onto our homes, we can still find safe places. If you do have space, there are some great furniture makers out there or on the smaller side, many kits from starter to expert. See our Sex Chair article for some great items.

Themed hotels and even Kinky AirBnBs or hotels, which are getting easier to locate, are excellent options for fulfilling your fantasies while on vacation or during that specific bondage adventure. Whether you are dreaming of a Tarzan-like vibe, a castle dungeon, or a rugged cabin, themed hotels are popular all over the world.

Pandora’s Box (NYC Dungeon Rental)

Mobile fantasies are a new thing and a great option. Did you know that you could rent a mobile dungeon? Also check google for your local dungeon rental options. Many of these options can come with a dom, if you don’t have one (or if you are new and desire guidance), and you can have a mobile room discretely delivered to your home.

Professional photographers are available for the most experienced adventurers.

What Games And Scenarios Do We Like To Play?

Dungeon fantasies are common. The medieval environment, with the erotic costumes and the chains on the walls, can be very intriguing. Medical rooms seem to be very popular. Cultural themes are common. A modern dungeon can contain a plethora of toys, swings, ceiling supports and erotic furniture. Item play can involve vibrators (with remote is the best), ropes, restraints, spanking items and specialty BDSM equipment like clamps or pinwheels.

Your level of BDSM or Kink can support any number of a variety of fantasies, and grow or develop with you as your interests expand. Use this time to test your physical skills like oral, or stamina or erogenous zones you don’t normally explore; don’t neglect the emotional as this is also a good time to pretend and use your imagination in an erotic way. When in doubt, start with a blindfold and some handcuffs and dive in.

Interrogator and Prisoner: The dom can play an authority figure who has finally found the person that they were looking for, the sub, and commences with a punishment for their unlawful behavior. Corporal punishment acceptable.
Superhero/Villain and the Victim: An all powerful, sexy, and beyond-this-world talented superhero saves an innocent person, the sub, from the forces of evil. Is the superhero just too powerful for the sub to handle? Or, perhaps, the smoldering, strong, and intelligent villain has taken their victim to their lair, where they can do whatever they want to this victim, who may, or may not, be completely willing.
Doctor and Patient: A patient comes into the doctor because there is something going on with their body. Show the doctor what is wrong, or lay back for a thorough examination and let the doctor discover what is wrong on their own.

Bringing People Closer Together

BDSM is not about abuse, it’s about connection and trust. Everyone has different fantasies and with great communication and an excellent sense of creativity, you and a partner can help fulfill each other’s dreams however you see fit to do so. You can be whoever you want to be. Are you a bad boy trading favors with a female prison guard? Are you an all powerful female superhero who has finally found your evil, but sexy, nemesis? Does you prisoner have information you must extract because let me inform you, everyone talks eventually.

Trusting your partner(s) with your secret desires, and vice versa, increases trust throughout your relationship(s). BDSM play, when boundaries are upheld, is safe and incredibly fun way to get to know yourself and your partners a little better. Adventure your way.

Contact us if we can help you build an incredible night with your friends and lovers. Let’s take some risks together.

Taking Your First Steps And Discovering The World Of Kink