Of all the sex positions, 69 has perhaps the most iconic and least flattering reputation. Most of the time when people talk about 69, it’s a joke — typically a pretty adolescent one that amounts to little more than simply acknowledging the existence of the number 69 and giggling. (To be fair, these jokes almost always land, but that doesn’t mean they’re good, per se.)

When we do talk about 69ing seriously — or at least as seriously as anyone can talk about a sex position that has been reduced to a puerile joke — it’s usually to suggest that 69 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Like shower sex and road head, 69 is one of those novelty sex acts that is usually written off as better in theory than it is in practice (unless you’re Ariana Grande).

To be fair, there is a lot working against it. While mutual oral pleasure seems like the perfect compromise in theory, in practice it often ends up the way most compromises do: with neither party getting what they actually want. The position — which tends to involve a lot of neck straining and awkward crouching — can be physically uncomfortable for one or both partners, and even if your’re a top-tier multitasker, it can be hard to focus on receiving pleasure while giving it.