BDSM Can Rewire Your Reaction to Traumatic Sexual Experience
Suffering from trauma is a common and taboo topic to discuss, though it is something that many people survive and deal with daily. There are several avenues of healing- Therapy, DBT, journaling, etc. Regarding sexual trauma, is it possible that BDSM may be one of those coping mechanisms? This is now becoming a leading ideology.
BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism) is a mutual agreement between two or more individuals where there is a dominant and submissive. It is not purely a sexual endeavor. The partners may implement rules throughout a regular interaction in any relationship, rules are just as important in BDSM play. Exploring the sexual element of BDSM requires methodical and purposeful sexual arousal between the two or more consenting individuals. BDSM includes categories such as kink, pain that arouses pleasure, control, and lack thereof – total submission. While partaking in a responsible experience of BDSM there should always be a safety plan and safety words applied as well as basic ground rules for the best possible outcome of playtime.
BDSM has helped individuals process traumatic sexual encounters in a safe place with a safe partner. As previously mentioned, helping these individuals take back their control. In essence, BDSM gives them back authority and power over their bodies.
If an individual suffers from a past sexual traumatic experience, it may alter their natural reaction to different sexual advancements or simply everyday situations that occur in their life. If there was an incident of rape, BDSM may either turn an individual on inexplicably or repulse them completely. There has long been debate as to whether BDSM is a healthy expression or a 
sadistic disorder. However, recent studies now promote BDSM as a healthy coping mechanism for those dealing with past disturbing sexual experiences.
Individuals have reported that reenacting situations where they had zero control, with a partner they trust, has benefited them tremendously. For example, in the event of rape where an individual is restrained, the thought of being held down against their will would undoubtedly affect them. Reenacting that same experience with someone they trust can now alter their physical and emotional response to the act of being restrained. BDSM pushes their boundaries in hopes of deciphering and managing their arousal response because now they are in control of the situation. Regarding an individual harmed without consent in a past sexual experience- partaking in physical punishment during BDSM may be a way for them to alter their emotional or physical response to being “punished” taking back their control and sexual identity.
Studies show that 60% of men and 47% of women fantasize about dominating someone during sex. Have you ever tried sex that involves submission, dominance, and control? Some people believe BDSM in the bedroom is dangerous, aberrant, and violent. However, is BDSM that bad? Absolutely not. It has many benefits, including healing trauma. Think about BDSM this way. It is more about the power dynamic and less about pain. Hence, it is not pathological, as some people put it.
BDSM is characterized by constant consent, tactile experience, and aftercare, which help create a safe space for psychological healing. If you are experiencing the negative effects of trauma, you are less likely to be sexual. In other words, your body cannot release the feel-good chemicals. BDSM allows your body to release these chemicals, even when you are not feeling sexual. Unlike normal sex, BDSM emphasizes the need for nurturing and care. Simply put, one has to respect the person they are playing with. If you have had sexual abuse before, the practice of cuddling, checking in, and talking through what happened can help you enjoy sex again.
During BDSM, you must focus on breathing and endure the sensory play and pain. If done right, BDSM can increase your body’s window of tolerance. In this context, you can feel how your body reacts to stress in trauma. You also allow your body to control uncomfortable sensations or feel more familiar with them.
Think about how yoga helps your body. Like yoga, BDSM includes, rhythm, breath work, and repetition. Studies show that breath work significantly helps with anxiety, depression, and nervous system regulation. In this context, it can help to substantially relieve the symptoms of trauma. Similarly, repetition and rhythm provide a sense of security and safety.
If you have been experiencing the negative effects of trauma, BDSM can help. It is an excellent way to help you explore your sense of safety and agency, which can help alleviate trauma symptoms. In other words, you can use power dynamics, pain play, and roleplay as therapeutic tools to reclaim your sexuality and regain control.
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