Polyamory Demystified: A Guide To Understanding The Nuances
Understanding polyamory is something that has been the topic of discussion for quite some time now. The word polyamory comes from Greek, literally meaning “loving multiple people.” It is a lifestyle choice in which it is understood that being intimate with more than one person does not have to be exclusive, nor is it wrong.
Polyamorous relationships are not to be confused with polygamy, which is simply polygyny (a female taking multiple husbands) or polyandry (a male taking multiple wives).
What Exactly is Polyamory?
Polyamory can take on many different types of relationships. Some examples are triads (three people), vees (one person dating two partners who aren’t dating each other), and Ns (one person dating two partners).
Most polyamorous relationships follow a hierarchical structure where the more committed partner gets priority over the less committed partner. This does not mean, however, that one of the less committed partners is without feelings or love for their more committed partner.
This structure can be changed and adapted to meet the needs and feelings of the relationship.
How do Polyamorous Relationships Work?
Polyamorous relationships vary from couple to couple and can be structured to fit just about any situation. The point of polyamory is to base the relationship on love and honesty and, for this reason, many people enjoy it.
Some questions you might ask yourself if considering a polyamorous lifestyle, while there are no right or wrong answers:
- How would you feel to let your partner date other people?
- How would you feel if your significant other dated someone without informing you?
- Do you have any worries about being honest with your significant other about your feelings for others?
Many people are frightened of the idea of their less committed partner finding someone else they love. This is a valid fear that should be discussed with your partner. Believe it or not, as humans, we are all capable of loving more than one person at a time and if you ask some people about this they will give you the same answer. The difference is that they have chosen to make their lover their primary focus and leave secondary considerations aside.
A Couple Of Short Videos:
Misconceptions About Polyamory
There are many common misconceptions of what polyamory is really like. The most popular one is that all poly people are swingers or will want to sleep with anyone they meet. Many people who identify as poly actually tend to be more selective than monogamous people because they only want to add people into the relationship who they know will be a good fit.
Another common misconception is that polyamory requires a lot of rules and structure. While some do choose to live this way, many just want to be able to love freely. The only real “rules” in polyamory are trust, respect, honesty, and communication.
Finding Support as a Polyamorous Person
The poly community has been growing as more people choose to live this lifestyle. There are many self-help groups where people who identify as poly can find support, friendship, and understanding between peers.
There are also many online forums where people can connect with others who identify as poly. Even though it is a lifestyle that many choose to keep private, there are those who are more than willing to share their stories and advice.
Polyamory is becoming more popular as people become tired of the rules and confines of the average relationship. It takes a lot of love and trust to make it work but can be rewarding if done right. The whole point of polyamory is learning to get along and thrive with different people and to create a richer life, just don’t forget the bring a heaping helping of honesty and transparency.