Pansexuality – A Better Understanding & Some Myth-busting Facts

What Is It To Be Pansexual: An Explaination

What Does it Mean to be Pansexual?

Pansexuality is often compared to bisexuality, which is the attraction to two genders, but they are not the same thing. To be pansexual means to be attracted to people of all genders and identities. This doesn’t necessarily mean someone doesn’t have a “type” either; gender just typically isn’t a factor in a pansexual person’s decision to date someone. A lot of people who identify as pansexual actually say they’re more attracted to personality, even if they do have a gender preference. Yes, some pansexual people do have a preference towards one gender over others, just like any sexuality.

What is it Like to be in a Pan Relationship?

It’s not any different from being in a “straight”, or heterosexual, relationship. A pan relationship is just like being in a relationship with anyone else, even if the person can feel attraction to more than one gender. It’s a common misconception that pansexual people are only in open relationship, meaning they’re active with more than one person at a time, but that’s not always in the case. Pansexuals can be in open relationships if they so choose, but most of them are perfectly happy to be in a monogamous relationship.

Where Can I Find More Information?

There are actually several great resources for finding more information on pansexuality, as well as other sexualities. A great place to look for more information is the Trevor Project, which is a well-known website that aims to help prevent suicides of LGBT youth. It’s also easy to find more information on various health websites, such as verywellhealth or WebMD.

You can even find websites detailing the issues celebrities have faced coming out as pansexual. Glaad, another website focusing on the LGBT community, has documented a few celebrity experiences.

Sometimes, one of the best resources can be those in your own community. A lot of communities will host events for LGBT people, and some have support groups or their own theater troupes. A quick internet search can connect you with a lot of people nearby.

Please watch the following videos for further explanation:

Top Five Myths about the Spectrum of Pansexuality

Myth: Pansexuality is an alternative to monogamy

Think of the notion of pantheism with which people are familiar. We have a tendency to think of pantheism in opposition to monotheism. But pantheism predated monotheism, so clearly it does not need to define itself in terms of monotheism. Neither does pansexuality need to define itself in terms of monogamy. We will use these terms merely as shorthand.

Myth: Pansexuality is polyamory

All pansexuality means for most people is that a polyamorist likes people regardless of their sex or gender. Pantheism means worshipping more than one God or Goddess. Pansexuality means freedom to worship any and all deities, demi-deities, and non-deities – not necessarily at the same time! Pansexual people may like boys or girls or people who are neither or both. A pansexual person can be polyamorous or not. It is their field of choice that is Pan.

Myth: Pansexual people can't be monogamous

Just because I like meat and vegetables, does not mean I cannot choose to become a vegetarian and eat nothing but vegetables for the rest of my life. A pansexual person may choose a monogamous marriage, in which case it is their choice of monogamy that matters most to them and keeps them faithful to their partner. If a lack of attraction to others were compulsive, no marriage would be safe. Because of their choice of monogamy, that pansexual person’s attraction to others sexes and genders does not cause them to act on it.

Celebrities that have announced their pansexuality:

Janelle Monáe

Miley Cyrus

Brendon Urie

Cara Delevingne

Myth: Pansexuals are not polyamorists

Then again, a pansexual person may choose to worship more than one God or Goddess. Worship is the wrong word. It is monogamists who tend to expect everything of their one Prince/ss Charming. It is agreements that are important in polyamory.  There is no assuming that after x number of dates, we must be dating exclusively. That requires a conversation. The idea of consent expands from sexuality to cover all romantic attachments. One partner may be exclusive while the other is not, or both may be, or both not. And it is important to set a time frame for agreements. That way, no one is waiting for the other shoe to drop every day, and no one is imagining that things will go on as they are forever.

Myth: Pansexuals are a strange subset of sexuality

On the contrary, heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality are all narrower spectrum ranges in the prism of pansexuality. Pansexuals are not rare. There are any number of public figures who self-identify as pansexual, of whom Miley Cyrus is perhaps the most famous.

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